Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Sometimes, Being A Single Parent Is Not A Choice

Now where did I hear the line that being a single parent is a choice? Probably in some online forum I have read a few months ago. I know several single parents out there who pride themselves that they choose to be one. But let’s face it, who is in their right mind would want their children to grow up with an absentee parent? If given with a lot of options, I know I wouldn’t.  Sometimes, being a single parent is not a choice… it is imposed. It becomes a choice out of self-preservation. Personally, I would want my daughter to grow up with a father but because her father is out of sight and, well, has a lot of things in his mind, I opted to embrace being a single parent. It was a tough decision and a scary one to boot. The entire situation feels  like  jumping off a cliff with nary a support. The situation was  imposed upon me and it was later that I have perceived the entire thing as a choice (an imposed option nonetheless).

There are lots of situations when being a single parent is imposed. For instance, you are abandoned by your partner or, out of misfortune, your partner went ahead of you in the after life. And what about that hapless rape victim who choose to raise her child instead of getting it aborted or that lady who opted to keep her child after breaking up from an illicit affair? All I am saying is that single parents do not just wake up one day embracing their situation. Sometimes, it takes more than that to accept the situation.

Being a single parent is definitely not a choice. It becomes a choice to content with to make the situation less painful and more bearable. Often I have heard a lot of single parents that they are happy being single. I beg to disagree. I am a happy person. I enjoy life and the company of my friends but there are times when I think about what life will be like if the situation was different and then I snapped out from my delusions and look ahead for the reality instead. This thought has always kept me going.

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